Posts tagged The Conqueror Womb

Too Hot! Too Weird! Too Shubby for Amazon!


Well, yesterday the tutting grandmothers and maiden aunts that work out their sexual frustrations stoking the boilers on the Censorship Engines of saw fit to relegate our new title, Conqueror Womb: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath, to the unsearchable dustbin that is their ‘mature content’ tag. What did this mean? It meant that until an hour or so ago, you could still find Conqueror Womb, if you knew where to look (ie. the Kindle store, specifically), and it also meant you wouldn’t find it, if you searched for, say, Lovecraft or Shub-Niggurath in the general search terms for itself.

Is this kind of thing a big deal? I mean, don’t most readers come to MMP titles because of something MMP authors say or do or post? Who goes searching for the term “conqueror womb”, anyway? Precious few, I’m sure, and I’m not sure I’d want to know anyone who would. (I’m sure you’re lovely people, but … you understand.)

So, why’d the grannies hit us, and hit us so fast? Conqueror Womb was released on the 10th. Of February. That’s right, a mere three days ago. We were alerted to the fact of our change of status by one of the collections authors, the sharp-as-a-goddamn-tack Jacqueline Sweet. Alarmed that they had moved so quickly, and just before Valentine’s Day, which was, you know, the whole reason for releasing this book this week, Scott immediately got on their case with this letter…

According to their spokes-granny, the cover (by friend-of-the-show and genius Glaswegian illustrator Garry Mac) was deemed to be “mature content”. Ladies and gentlebeasts, the original cover…

Beauty. That’s EIGHT breasts, at least. And, like Scott said, monstrous. And not all that sexual, even. In fact, Garry Mac’s Shubby here is feeding her Dark Young. Amazon, what do you have against breastfeeding mothers? she asks in something nearby to complete seriousness. Well, whatever problems they have with that particular miracle of nature, the upshot is they asked us to change this. Remember, too, that we had to confront them on this issue: if we hadn’t noticed their action, they wouldn’t have mentioned it to us at all. If you’ve never seen one of their your cover is too smutty emails, they look like this.

Well, gosh, Cecilia, thanks for being so up front and honest and understanding about Amazon’s behind-the-scenes manipulation of our product!

So, yeah, we changed the cover. And if you think it was easy for us to move the text elements north to cover up our beautiful, regal Shub-Niggurath, then let me tell you honey, IT WASN’T. (Sorry, Garry! We’re sooo  sorry!) Here’s the revised cover…

Not exactly a hatchet job, but we are saddened, still.

Now, here’s the thing: Amazon asks you to choose two categories for a title, and we, in an effort to be honest about the content of Conqueror Womb, chose Horror (obviously!) and Erotica (also obviously)… certainly CW is far more horror than erotica. Even we don’t think it appeals to prurient interests enough for anyone to reasonably get their rocks off, although you’re welcome to try. Scott felt, and I concurred, that we had been penalized for our transparency. And so the Martian Migraine response was a little testy, naturally…At this point, we pretty much threw up our hands. Wiser heads than ours nodded sagely and advised us that once a title had been flagged as mature, it was effectively done, kaput, as good as disappeared. Certainly, this has been my own experience with the first two Blackstone books (Red Monolith Frenzy and Green Fever Dream both got hit about eight months back, and sales of those has dropped noticeably — but hey, there’s the links, go, now, and buy a copy of each, just to rub it in their noses, please) and so we resigned ourselves to obscurity.

Then, this happened…

We fought Amazon.

We fought a rear-guard battle, granted, and we gave up some territory (those lovely mutant mammaries!), but we fought Amazon…

AND WE WON!  We won. It can be done.

But, just to spite ’em, remember this, Migraineers: buy DIRECT from MMP and you’ll get the uncensored glory of the original cover AND exclusive website bonus content! Delivery may not be as swift as Amazon’s Whispernet (generally under 12 hours to your inbox) but you get our chummy personalities and sweet extra swag with the transaction, and our gratitude for supporting independent presses. It’s Valentine’s Day! Show your sweetie some weird love and pick up a copy of Conqueror Womb: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath for a little light pillow reading!

Justine out.


Momma’s Home! CONQUEROR WOMB Now Available for Purchase!


Martian Migraine Press and editors Justine Geoffrey and Scott R Jones present Conqueror Womb: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath. 18 pulpy tales of fertility and fear, hot sex and chilling sacrifice! Stories that squelch, tales that both titillate and terrify, from some of the best writers working in Lovecraftian horror and mind-bending erotica today: Wilum H. Pugmire, Molly Tanzer, Don Webb, Christine Morgan, Kenton Hall, Brian M. Sammons, Jacqueline Sweet, Copper Sloane Levy, Annabeth Leong, and Christopher Slatsky, along with fresh new voices!

From nighted glades where frenzied orgiasts work unholy magic to slick urban dungeons of unbridled pleasure; from fertility clinics to fevered dance clubs; from the misty depths of the past to the unthinkable future, join us as we offer praise and abundance! Iä! Shub-Niggurath!

NOW AVAILABLE for purchase direct from MMP or through Amazon
(ebook only – details below)

WEBSITE EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! Order Conqueror Womb directly from MMP using the links below and receive a bonus ebook: DARK/YOUNG (a Conqueror Womb companion) featuring two spicy new stories from Justine Geoffrey and Jess Gulbranson! NOTE: Kindle users will need to forward their Amazon e-receipt to the MMP Bookstore to receive their bonus content. EPUB and PDF purchases (through Paypal) will have their bonus content sent to them with their copy of Conqueror Womb within 24 hours of purchase.

To purchase CONQUEROR WOMB in Kindle/.mobi format, click HERE
To purchase this book in EPUB format, click HERE.
To purchase this book in PDF format, click HERE.


Cover Reveal and ToC for CONQUEROR WOMB!



Migraineers … it’s time. Time once again for the Annual Martian Migraine Anthology! This years theme: Shub-Niggurath, that most neglected of the Cthulhu Mythos deities. Now, earlier this week (on Facebook and elsewhere) we thought it would be funny to do a gag cover reveal and so posted this high-LAR-ious little number to our page and shared it with a few select Lovecraftiana groups. We were not prepared for the approval ratings we received back from what was, essentially, a prank. So, long story short, we will likely be offering CONQUEROR WOMB: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath with this as an alternate cover, just as soon as we suss out any existing copyright issues for that image. Thanks, Baffling Mysteries #5!

And now… the real CONQUEROR WOMB Cover Reveal! (Totally legit this time, we swear.) We’re extremely pleased to have Scottish comics wunderkind Garry Mac (of Unthank Comics) provide us with this uniquely gonzo rendering of the Monstrous Momma of the Mythos! Shrink before her haughty mein! Tremble at her … things, stickin’ out all over like that there! Huh. Coo adorably at her Dark Young (but try not to let your fingers get too close)! Bow before the Black Goat of the Woods!

You’ll have noticed there are some names on this beautiful thing. So, without further delay, the Table of Contents! Pulsing with some of the best writers working today in Lovecraftian horror (Wilum Pugmire, Molly Tanzer, Brian M. Sammons to name a few!) and mind-bending erotica (Shon Richards, Annabeth Leong, Jacqueline Sweet to name a few more!), plus a host of fresh talent! (Feel quite free to bow before the ToC, too, we won’t mind…)

Praise & Abundance! – introduction by editors Justine Geoffrey & Scott R Jones
This Human Form
– Lyndsey Holder
That Hideous Thing – Ran Cartwright
Unsatisfied – Brian M. Sammons
Mater Annelida – Victoria Dalpe
The Potboiler Sigil – Luke R. J. Maynard
All This For the Greater Glory of the 7th and 329th Children of the Black Goat of the Woods – Molly Tanzer
Babymama – Kenton Hall
Our Child – Annabeth Leong
Boy – Don Webb
Pieces (2) for String Octet – Copper Sloane Levy
The Whisperer in the Vagina – Shon Richards
Obsidian Capre Aegagrus – Christopher Slatsky
Dirtymag – Jonas Moth
With Honey Dripping – Christine Morgan
In the Down Deep Down – Jacqueline Sweet
The Scarlet Scripture – Ambrosius Grimes
Within Your Unholy Pit of Shoggoths – Wilum H. Pugmire
Blossom – Rose Banks
The Conqueror Womb: Parsing Shub-Niggurath (essay) – Scott R Jones

From nighted glades where frenzied orgiasts work unholy magic to slick urban dungeons of unbridled pleasure; from fertility clinics to fevered dance clubs; from the misty depths of the past to the unthinkable future, join us as we offer praise and abundance! Iä! Shub-Niggurath!

CONQUEROR WOMB: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath launches in multiple e-storefronts February 10, 2014 (just in time for Valentine’s Day!) but you can pre-order the title directly from MMP until February 9, 2014.

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